Hi guys, Linda here.
Yep, I’m still here reading and working on this. Today at work I was surprised to notice that I hadn’t even THOUGHT about smoking for hours on end. Then, all of a sudden Warren kicked in as if to say…. hey, I’m STILL here. LOL Why aren’t you thinking about smoking? I realize that NOT smoking is making me so much more calm that I am not NERVOUS or anxious or feeling my heart race around (like it does when I’m smoking)…. just to show that smoking just feeds on itself. It gets your heart racing and makes you anxious and nervous and then you want to smoke more. Kind of a Catch-22. Anyway, doing my “note taking” but not FORMALLY yet… but oh yes, I will. (grins) 
P.S. I’ve been getting lots more rest lately too. Early to bed and sleeping more soundly too now that my evenings aren’t filled with puff after puff.
Also P.S. This a.m. instead of sitting at my computer smoking (this is 2 days in a row now .. yeah!)….. I went down to have a great breakfast .. orange and toast….. instead of racing around, running to eat at McDonald’s .. THAT place is starting to really turn my stomach too…….. and watched a little TV while waking up.. no cigs though……. I’ve had a few today, but not many.. making more progress. I know I am learning what this is all about.
Thanks to Steve and Pam and to all of you others sharing your stories.
Linda
June 22nd, 2006 at 8:36 pm
Hi Steve,
It was harder this morning again (sigh)…. I am not outta the woods yet, I know. I guess I want to ask you how long (approx) do you think it will take me to really quit and get a permanent handle on all of this? I will try harder again today.
Thanks,
Linda
June 27th, 2006 at 7:50 am
Hi Linda,
It’s true that nicotine only ‘winds us up’. It stimulates the adrenal glands to release adrenaline which dumps glucose into the blood stream, increases heart rate and respiration, primes the muscles and mind for ‘fight or flight’. Cutting back on the amount smoked will certainly reduce some of our feelings of ‘wound up’. But it’s not quitting and it’s not likely to help much with staying quit. Quitting and staying quit is less about creating conditions that don’t have, or need, a smoking association….. and is much more about learning to recognize and deal with the ‘wound up’ that is part of routine life.
June 27th, 2006 at 4:35 pm
Hi, Steve. Yes, procrastination. I guess I am avoiding something that I obviously feel will be painful and require real work. Funny how that never happened when I pursued my career or many other important things in my life. This seems to be one of those things ….. yep, I am guilty as charged!
Thus far, I have only made a half-hearted attempt, and so am achieving only half-results. You get what you put into it….
I come online and read all the e-mails and yet there I am, still smoking, and not doing that much about it, except really thinking more now if I really want that cig. I almost dread waking up in the mornings because I know that “IT” still awaits me and the problem isn’t going away just by ignoring it….
I want you to be pushy.
I really appreciate it, in fact. You are holding me accountable and that is a GOOD thing. Now, I just have to get off my duff and DO something about the main thing in my life that I hate about myself. This smoking thing.
Thanks,
Linda
June 27th, 2006 at 10:20 pm
Hi Linda,
If quitting has always been a painful experience, then there’s no reason why we should expect quitting to be anything other than painful. Even if we’re onto something that we think might work, until we actually get started, there’s no way to ‘know’ a quit that isn’t painful. And yes it’s work, but how much work is it to continue hanging in smoking limbo? For that matter, how long have we suffered the pain of being caught between wanting to be quit but still lighting up a couple of cigarettes a day? The real difficulty is in taking the first step. I think the first step is so hard because we think we’re taking a gigantic step. That step is really nothing more that turning on a timer first thing in the morning (takes a second, involves no pain or significant work) and then answering a few questions once an hour (we’re looking at what muscles are tense and condition of breathing. where’s the pain or work in that?).
I know very well what it’s like to sit on the fence. For me, fence sitting was always harder than making a decision to step down on one side or the other.
Steve