Still here?
Hi Tommy, Hanna, Yvonne, Lyndy, and Steve S …. you were all at
different stages of integrating the cognitive approach to quitting. How are
you folks doing? What’s working? What isn’t? How can we help?
Steve
4 Responses to “Still here?”
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June 30th, 2006 at 1:04 am
To Mina and Jess,
I missed your names when I was going through my list last night. My
apologies. How are you doing? Is there something we can help you with?
To everyone in the group…. Would anyone like to set up a chat
time? Often a lot of material can be covered in chat, questions get
immediate answers and can be personalized to your needs.
Steve
June 30th, 2006 at 6:17 am
Hi Lisa - I’m not sure where you’re up to learning about ABC’s (Steve
may be walking you through them), but here’s a ‘pen picture’ of what
it’s about…
Events (the A’s) are all the routine things that make up a day. It
could be getting up, having breakfast, the phone ringing, an argument,
feeling tired, going shopping, walking the dog, driving the car. Take
the example of an argument :-
A (event) I’ve just had an argument with x
B (beliefs) Whenever we argue like this I get really angry. I find it
really hard to calm down because I’m sure x does it on purpose. My
heart’s pounding, my breathing’s fast, and I my stomach’s in knots.
Only one thing will calm me down
C (consequent response, based on the beliefs) I’ll smoke
As a smoker, we just made an automatic association with a smoke (or
rather, Warren did - how many times did we find ourselves with a lit
cigarette between our fingers and didn’t even recall lighting it?)
What we’re aiming to do with ABC’s is to challenge our belief that
‘only’ a smoke will help - we’re stepping back and thinking a bit more
rationally about what’s going on, and what will really help.
Here’s the same event, but with more rational thought:-
A (event) I’ve just had an argument with x
B1 (revised beliefs) Whenever we argue like this I get really angry.
I find it really hard to calm down because I’m sure x does it on
purpose. My heart’s pounding, my breathing’s fast, and I my stomach’s
in knots. Whether or not x is doing it on purpose or not, there’s not
much to be gained staying in the situation. I could take some time out
of the situation - go outside, and have a walk round. Some good deep
breaths would regulate my breathing and calm me down physically, and a
few shoulder stretches would ease taut muscles. Getting away from the
situation will give me time to think how I’ll deal with the issue
(what we were arguing about) and I’ll feel more in control
C1 (consequent responses, based on the B1’s) I’ll choose to………
(pick whatever’s appropriate)
This is where the timer log info is so important (did you do one,
Lisa?) The emotions and conditions you’ll have recorded will bring
with them a range of physical sensations - and it’s those physical
sensations that we’re trying to pinpoint and address. And each time
we do that and meet the need appropriately, the more we’re
disconnecting the smoking associations. And in doing all this, we’re
also gaining tools to help us direct our days instead of blindly
reacting to what comes our way.
Pam
Lisa said:-
June 30th, 2006 at 5:04 pm
I would join a chat time if you schedule one that I am able to attend.
Thanks,
Linda W
July 1st, 2006 at 8:34 pm
Hi Steve,
Congrats on your 17 days.
intended for long term use. The timer logs have an immediate purpose which
is to teach us to be aware of the subtle physical cues that come with
living through a day. That we’ve attached a smoking response to many of
those cues and have taught Warren to carry on without our conscious
involvement is at the root of the smoking habit. In order for us to get
involved we need to ‘know what Warren knows’, ‘recognize what Warren
recognizes’. This reminds me of an ‘art form’ that became popular a while
back where images are hidden in a picture. The one that comes to mind is of
a couple of dolphins jumping out of the water. In order to ’see’ the
dolphins, the viewer must look at the picture in a certain way. It takes a
bit of practise to learn ‘how’ to view the picture in order to see the
dolphins. But once we know ‘how’ to look, the dolphins are easy to see.The
timer exercise is a tool that teaches us were to look and how to recognize
the signals our bodies send when we are hungry, angry, bored, sad, tired, etc.
Anything that Warren gets right is likely because we’ve retrained him.
Sometimes simple awareness is enough to precipitate change. Conversely,
anything he gets wrong is because we’ve not brought awareness to the
situation or provided him with alternative associations. The best way to
prepare Warren to respond differently is with ABCs. ABCs are most effective
when we use information from our timer logs.
The ABCs and ‘what ifs’ are the keys to preparing for events during our
day. Any time we plan ahead for an event we suspect may be stressful, we
provide an opportunity to choose a response rather than allowing Warren to
automatically associate one from the past. With practise, Warren will use
the non smoking response we provide IF they are appropriate and effective.
There is nothing, and I mean NOTHING, that compares to the
satisfaction of seeing a quitter ‘get it’ and suddenly take control
of something that was always beyond their control. It’s what keeps me
going when it seems that all I’m doing is pushing.
post a couple of ABCs that have worked for you?
Steve