and I quess I haven’t done enough of the work
with this cognitive quit thing yet because there were times today
that were very hard,but I am determined not to smoke no matter what.
I have done the timer exercise, but the only thing that I got out of
it is to stop and realize how I am feeling and to recognize the
physical symtoms that I am having when these cravs occur. Sorry,
Steve, I guess I just don’t get it. Alice
Hi Steve and Pam and group, it’s been 6 weeks now since I quit smoking—I quit on Monday December 6, 2004 (and btw where can I find that neat clock that keeps track of hours, cigs not smoked, money, etc). As I’ve said repeatedly, everything is different in my life. But rather than go on and on about how very happy and hopeful I am, I wanted to just step back a bit and look at how this happened—how I was able to quit—in the hope that I might be able to encourage someone else who is struggling to give it another try and to let this cogquit information work for you.
I was smoking over a pack a day when I quit, and smoking since I was about 10 or 11 years old, except for a 5 year period in my 20’s when I didn’t smoke at all (I’m 52yo now). I very much wanted to quit, but just couldn’t do it. I felt desperate to quit, but couldn’t do it. By the beginning of 2004 I felt like I was dying. I knew if I didn’t do something different I would just collapse and that would be it. And still I couldn’t quit. I would look at my beloved cat and pray to live long enough to take care of her for her whole life, and still I couldn’t quit smoking. So I quit my job in April of 2004. I had to take time to be home, reduce distractions, pray, and try to take my life back—it was life or death and immanent. And after several months, still I couldn’t quit.
I found the cognitive quitting site and this message board, and it all made so much sense to me. I thought I had found the answer and I was amazed that Steve was making this available. I read the information about Warren, the foundation statements, the timer sheet and the abc’s, I read the old posts—it all made incredible sense. And still I couldn’t quit. I gave up trying to quit, but eventually decided that at the very least I could work on the timer sheets. So I did.
Then finally, on the weekend before I actually did quit, I tried again. I spent lots of time sitting at my table for a few days, looking in a mirror at my self. After some time spent looking into my own eyes, I made a commitment to myself. And I failed almost immediately that day—I smoked a cigarette that I couldn’t even justify having by telling myself it was because I was desperate or traumatized. I just wanted that cig so I lit it up and smoked it.
It was so clear that I have no will power—absolutely none—zero. And also clear just how addicted I am—I called it sleazy—that I would turn my back on my most sacred vow to my own dark eyes—my own inner self—for a cigarette. And a cigarette that I wasn’t even desperate for!! I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t go back to distracting myself yet I apparently couldn’t quit.
I decided to really study those foundation statements and make sure I understood every word. I wrote them out for myself. Then I typed them out. Then with some help it began to be clear to me that I needed to actually write out the abc’s. Despite understanding previously how they worked and seeing how they made sense, it wasn’t until I was able to write out the abc’s that I truly experienced the relief of no more smoking urges (at least not ones connected to that situation or sensation)—I was making a change in my conditioned response. It was an “ah HA!” experience. It took a lot of work (and a lot of help) to figure out how to write them out, but the changes that happened were incredible. The relief from urges was immediate and certain. Once I learned how to do those ABC’s I was able to quit and stay quit.
So I quit all at once that Monday. With no patches or gums, with no cravings for junk food (in fact the opposite—I craved fruits and vegies), and I quit drinking coffee and diet coke at the same time since they were mostly just being drunk to go with the cigs, and sugar became repulsive. I kept working on the abc’s and reviewing my foundation statements, and with lots of support, I got through the first week. I celebrated my first week by going swimming and have been going ever since.
Honestly, if this sleaze ball (said in the nicest possible way) can quit smoking using the cogquit information, anyone can. I feel so sad when I see people trying to quit by hanging on, or using the nicotine replacement things, even though they have the cogquit info right there. You don’t need to do it that way—that way is harder. It’s so frustrating to know without a doubt that it works, and not be able to help someone understand that they can do it—that they need to actually do those exercises.
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This is a list compiled from both on line sources and the aggregate experience of many many quitters over the past 9 years.
Nicotine Withdrawal Symptoms
Usually appear within 20 - 30 minutes after last cigarette
- muscle tension
- changes in breathing, usually shallow
- lack of concentration / difficulty thinking
- anxiety
- irritability
Some of the following may appear within 4 - 6 hours and continue past the 3 day detox on into recovery. Others may take days or weeks to appear or may never be experienced at all.
- head ache
- sweating
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I’m not sure how to approch this subject, but here goes…. I have
quit for 8 days, besides feeling like i lost my best friend at times,
i have such awful bowel rumblings,and gas. my stomach just rumbles
and rumbles and the gas is horrable. is this normal? Didn’t know
how else to say it, thanks in advance.
I’m awed, to be in the presence of you both—of such souls—of such beauty, integrity, courage, and brilliance. I could almost become cavalier about suffering after the fact—when I am able to step far back from the edge—finding my own poetry in describing the “ocean of longing”—which doesn’t mean that it isn’t true—but it’s that easy to forget how it feels to be in it in the raw—I want to shut it out so much—that it transforms almost as soon as… But then I read your descriptions, and feel so thankful that someone else knows, has been there, can remember. It makes such a difference.
Anyway, Carol is so right. It doesn’t take will power. If it did, I wouldn’t have been able to do this—to be smoke-free for over 5 weeks now. I did hold onto my foundations statements closely sometimes, along with the ones I added like—”one is a lie” or “this is it”—those things I understood clearly when I was in my right mind. But it wasn’t will power—it was just reminding myself of something that I believed to be true when I was in my best mind, and not trusting my detox mind.
And you just can’t know how powerful those abc’s are until you do them. Really I think it’s the process of continuing to bring awareness of the body and emotions back to consciousness and then finding ways to respond to those sensations—ways to honor that moment of our life—ways to respect our body and emotions. And it’s so remarkably true—once a way, or ways to respond is found, the urge to smoke just doesn’t arise anymore—and the lust to be even more fully alive and aware just seems to burst into bloom as the windows are open and the light of awareness pours in.
Well, there I am, in the midst of all the suffering in the world, back to lust. Sorry, I can’t help it. Thank you both for sharing your experience. Judy.
I ‘m a lawyer- I know the logic. I’m a litigator - I know the medicine. I understand the brain chemistry. I’ve been reading everybody’s Emails. I’m on week three and I’m suddenly pretty much frantic. Can’t remember the reasons, the logic, the medicine, barely my name. I am taking deep breaths and chewing gum. And, actually, I hate to put any of you to the trouble, because I know the ritual AND the reason. I just can’t seem to find it right now. L
ok…so i check in, i do an ABC, I respond appropriately…but what
about those times of unspecified depression, anxiety…that jumble
of feelings that pop up like ghosts and disappear to be replaced by
another…
sadness. greif. you know….a whole herd of things that aren’t
really in the body, but leave their prints there.
that cavern into with we went with our cigarettes to die a little.
what then?
elizabeth
I think I tend to not smoke after a meal that is lighter. I want to light up maybe more after a meal where I overeat or feel sluggish after eating, so maybe my body is looking for a stimulus to replace the sluggish feeling?
Linda
My quit date is January 17, 2005. I am a 58 year old woman who has
smoked since I was 19 years old. When I was in my 40’s, I told myself
that if I lived to be 50 that I would quit smoking. Well, on my 50th
birthday I put on a patch and didn’t smoke for about a month. It wasn’t
my cravings that brought me back to smoking, it was my will. I missed it
so much that I decided one day that I deserved to smoke and started up
again. And I smoked and didn’t even think of quiting until about six
months ago. Since then, I have tried serveral times, lasting only about
a week or less. The last time I quit and bought a pack of cigs and took
that first puff, I notice that I was having shortness of breath and felt
my heart racing. This is not good. This time I want to remember that
feeling and also think about how I have been suffering with shortness of
breath lately whenever I tried to ride my exercise bike.
Has anybody had these experiences? How do you get over WANTING that
first cig?
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I am new to the group and I am looking forward to all the support I
can get. I just quit last night and right now I feel really
uncomfortable. I have a slight headache and really have a craving to
smoke. I have errands that I must take care of however I am afraid
that when I get into my car I will stop and get cigarettes. So here I
sit. I must leave sometime. My car is a trigger for private smoking.
Any suggestions. I currently have a nicotine patch on, I also have a
perscription for Zyban which I have sitting on the desk ready to
ingest. Help me!