Quitting by “Accident”
I have been following some of the emails over the past several months but
have not participated. I started to once or twice, with the timer and ABC’s
but work always seems to get in the way.
I awoke with the flu this past Monday morning, and since I am not the type
to smoke while congested, I just kinda went for the quit. I have kept the
abc stuff in mind, regarding proper responses and how I’m feeling - I can
totally visualize what is happening when I get an urge, emotionally and feel
it physically.
I am almost well now, but not quite, and still haven’t “picked up.” I know
I know I know I should take advantage of this “accidental” quit. Those
dreaded first few days are over without my having noticed anything but the
dizziness, etc. that comes with flu symptoms. Now it is all mind over
matter.
My major trigger is the wine/cig factor. There isn’t one without the other,
at least not initially. What a horrible thing to have to give up both at
the same time! I don’t even feel like I’m me anymore; I don’t know who I
am!! I’m also going on vacation 2/20 and do not know how the heck I’m gonna
not have any wine???? much less not smoke! Ugh.
Surprising, another major trigger for me is my husband getting angry about
something; he’s under some stressful situations right now and has vented
some; but I’ve managed somehow to get through those (with the help of the
flu).
Anyway, I guess I was looking for some support somehow. I don’t know how to
handle this lifestyle change - I guess I need to accept that it just ain’t
easy.
Thanks for listening.
October 24th, 2006 at 12:08 pm
At 4am a couple of mornings ago, I convinced myself completely to have a
cigarette…we were in a bar and drinking something nice, and I lit up
and smoked. Oh! The feeling of disappointment afterwards. I spent
between 4am and 6am giving myself a really hard time about smoking, and
wondering how I was going to redeem the situation.. could I arrange a
chat with Steve? What was he going to say? What were all the people I
love and respect going to say? Oh dear!
And then I WOKE UP!! PHEW! It was only a dream. That’s the first
smoking dream I have had since quitting. and I don’t recall the
cigarette being pleasurable at all, but I do recall the two hours of
tossing and turning and giving myself such a hard time about smoking.
What a relief to find out it was a dream. I hope I don’t have any more
of those..
carol
October 25th, 2006 at 2:39 pm
Congratulations on your 3 months Carol, and ALL the changes you’ve been
making. I’ve learned so much from watching your process. You’ve really learned
how to do those abc’s and make them work–and as I copied what you did, they
worked like magic for me too! Thank you for sharing your learning and changing
process—you’re an inspiration.
I’ve been hearing from so many quitters that they’ve been unable to get past
3 months without smoking. I know that most of them (maybe all) did not use
the cogquit principles or tools, but I’m also hearing it as a caution. I
wonder if there is some physiological reason—something that causes strong
cravings at the 3 month time—or some other reason. But also wondering if you
still do abc’s in some form and what your process is when you get a craving
(for
instance the one you mention in your next note—the scary smoking
dream—what did you do with that?).
In appreciation, Judy.
October 25th, 2006 at 7:59 pm
Congratulations Carol,
Three months is a wonderful accomplishment. I’d like to think that
what you wrote here had some bearing on how you’ve gotten to 3 mos quit….
Listen to this lady folks…. she’s done very well.
Steve
October 28th, 2006 at 5:37 pm
Hi Judy and list
Well I haven’t heard about the three months thing.. and I’m pleased to
say I don’t get any cravings for cigarettes. Not even the slightest
whiff of an urge. Indeed the last time I had any feeling about wanting a
cigarette was well before Christmas. It just gets easier and easier. The
dream was not a craving at all… it was just a dream and the anxiety
that followed was about my sorrow/guilt about having smoked (in the
dream). As I was essentially asleep the dealing with it was waking up!
You know, thoughts are very powerful things. If you think three months
is going to be hard (and I’m remembering it isn’t far away from three
months for you), then the chances are your mind/body will deliver
exactly that for you. The thought/belief can create the
emotion/feeling. Remember in Steve’s “getting started” text (on the
cognitive quitting website) the story of the person driving down the
road being cut up by a speeding driver? How the belief about why the
guy’s speeding creates the emotion/feeling? I think the same applies
here. I have no thoughts about any “magic” 3 months barrier, and hence
I’m not finding it difficult at all. In fact my thoughts are probably
supporting me.. I don’t think or believe I will get cravings and I don’t
think/believe I want a cigarette. And I don’t. Well done my mind/body
system!
I have to say I don’t generally do new ABCs any more. though the
foundation of all the ones I did and wrote out are clearly there in my
subconscious. I think I sort of developed a generic set and range of
responses which seems to serve me well in all situations I’ve
encountered so far. I find that when I’m in a new situation, or
something unexpected happens my natural reaction now is to take a deep
breath and just to check in with my body. But, if was still getting
any urges to smoke at all, I would still be working on those ABCs, as
clearly I hadn’t covered all the bases yet (if you see what I mean).
I don’t think, if you have fully embraced the cog quit approach to
quitting and have done the work thoroughly, that other people’s
experiences (using other methods) are particularly relevant.. so I’d
recommend letting go of the idea that “it will be difficult” (whether
that’s in relation to stopping, to reaching the three month point, or to
whatever you are facing). Instead, try installing a new belief.. “This
is a different approach to quitting and the experience will not be the
same as other types of quit. I don’t need to listen to scaremongers as
their experiences are not relevant to me”.
Keep it up.. you are doing great Judy. Just work on those belief
systems a bit!
Carol
Judy wrote:
I’ve been hearing from so many quitters that they’ve been unable to get
past
3 months without smoking. I know that most of them (maybe all) did not
use
the cogquit principles or tools, but I’m also hearing it as a caution. I
wonder if there is some physiological reason—something that causes
strong
cravings at the 3 month time—or some other reason. But also wondering
if you
still do abc’s in some form and what your process is when you get a
craving (for
instance the one you mention in your next note—the scary smoking
dream—what did you do with that?).
In appreciation, Judy.