“A Quitting State of Mind” [long]
ddsteve@… writes:
<< This could be an interesting thread…
‘A Quitting State of Mind. What is
it? How do you get it?’ Any thoughts?
……………………………………………………………
My quit date was August 19. On August 11,
I wrote this email to my 3 grown daughters,
who for many years had begged me to stop
smoking.
…………………………………………………………..
Dear beautiful and wise daughters,
I am writing to let you know that I’m actively
cultivating the decision to quit smoking; please
wish me the best.
I don’t know how long it will take, but I think if
I cultivate the decision lovingly and make it not
about fear but about loving myself, I cannot fail.
In case you are interested, here is a partial
list of my….
Reasons to quit smoking
The gift of life. I need my lungs healthy in order to
welcome each breath without fear and guilt
My lungs are weak. I have a bad cough much of the
time. I am short of breath, I have chest and shoulder pain.
ie, cigarettes are making me feel like sh-t.
Smoking seems to be a very clear obstacle to many
possibilities for my future (including life itself.)
These include relationships, travel, work situations.
To prepare for living.
To honor my gift.
To clean my house.
To have better health and energy, and whiter teeth,
and brighter skin, and be able to breathe.
To quit being afraid and guilty about smoking.
To know I am doing all I can to honor this life.
My kids will be proud of me.
No more wheezing and coughing
Say No to fear & wimpiness
Freedom from being controlled by addiction
Free to be at ease in more situations without cravings
Being a more attractive person
Being a cleaner person overall
Consistency with message of the heart
Self love
My list of reasons for not quitting is quite short.
They are all about fear.
Thank you for your loving support. Momma
………………………..
I think I worked my way there gradually, &
not altogether intentionally. A big factor
for me was the increasing discomfort in my
lungs. There was the nagging discomfort
also of knowing that I was doing a grave
disservice to myself, to put it mildly.
I felt frequent self-disgust with what
I saw more and more — when I looked at it
truthfully — as a state of slavery, rather than
a choice of habit. I did not like being owned
by tobacco.
When I looked ahead in my life, I saw the
smoking habit/dependency as huge baggage,
and likely an obstacle to going forward in work,
relationships, adventures, possibilities…
because I recognized that I would have to
carry this horrid decrepit baggage of smoking
everywhere I went. Also that before long I
would also probably have to carry an oxygen
supply, as my mother had. I was not eager
for that — yet it began to look like a real
possibility to me because my lungs were
becoming so weak.
I had heard of a book which approached
quitting smoking from an unusually positive
angle. The woman who told me about this
book said that it makes you yearn to be a
nonsmoker. I made a mental note of this
because it seemed that was the only way
I would ever be able to quit — ie, to feel
such a yearning.
I knew I did not have the will power, the
strength, the determination, etc., to quit. I
didn’t expect ever to be able.
One day I thought I ought to do *something*
make some small effort, just in case… just
on the seemingly random chance that it
would lead to something more.. take a chance
on the idea that if I moved one small thing, it
would affect everything else. Begin to cultivate
the positive desire to quit. I made a list of all
the positive reasons I had for wanting to be
free of cigarettes. Then I did a search
on Google, thinking I might be able to find
that book, or get inspired to want to quit.
It was a really tiny step… but it was the one.
Steve’s website caught my attention.
A week later, I was a nonsmoker. I know
that it was some combination of my own
readiness, Steve’s availability and his generosity
and honesty with me, plus some really helpful
communication from Judy, another cog quitter;
and the cog approach itself, using the timer,
plus being really nice to myself about it… no
pressure, no fight. To me now it still seems
miraculous. Although occasionally I miss smoking
— slightly, momentarily — I am exceedingly
relieved to be no longer smoking.
My breathing now is like a gift, every day. I don’t
ever want to take this for granted again.
I would love to hear others’ tales.. great suggestion
to make this a thread and I hope others will write,
let’s make it a holiday gift to ourselves and each
other here, maybe provide a little extra boost for
all of us over the holidays. Annie