Well, I’m finally doing it!!! & my rambling LOL

Hi All,
I have made it over my problem hump time I think. I did quit earlier, would last
2-3 days and slip. Then I would have one or two cigarettes, and try again. This
was a hard and continious cycle. The kicker was that even though I didn’t have
many cigarettes when I slipped, I still went through this heavy craving cycle at
day 3. I had tried (again!) and did good for the first 24 hours, then I got
sick! Caught a chest cold no less. That of course has brought me past my 3rd day
point because frankly, there’s no smoking when your hacking your lungs out. I
know my family has been sick, but I’m the only one with a chest cold. I can’t
help but wonder if I would have not even gotten sick if I didn’t smoke.
I told my husband that I can not put myself through this again. I can not keep
putting myself through the up and down of quitting, then getting all whacky,
then doing it again! It’s like putting your hand on a hot stove and when it
heals, doing it again!
I have been practicing my breathing, started Yoga for stress relief, bought the

strength training DVD’s I wanted, so I am set once this cold is gone. I am
withdrawing from school. I had to. I just couldn’t do it anymore with the kids,
keeping my business going, etc. I really laid it down for myself on what I want
to do, and I want my jewelry business, so I am finishing my classes that I
currently have (no point in paying for nothing!), and that will be it until the
kids are older. That alone has taken a big burden that I felt on myself.
I am proud to say that I am going on day 5 of being smoke-free! I am feeling
better today somewhat, not coughing as much, etc and I was craving, but I don’t
want to go through this again. I was thinking too the one night and was telling
my husband, “I find it really scary to think of the chemicals in those
cigarettes. Here I am, struggling to make it past the excessive craving point, I
was not a heavy smoker, and yet it still had this hold on me. I don’t want
anything to have that kind of hold on me!!”. I don’t either. It was just one of
those realizations in the middle of the night LOL
I am proud that even though I’ve had more stress lately than I would think to
have, I have and am keeping to being smoke-free. I’ve working on my jewelry,
I’ve crocheted more (2 more scarves LOL), visited message boards to keep myself
busy as much as I can with a cold. The kids alone have kept me jumping too.
So there is my rambling and my very happy self saying going into day 5 and
keeping it that way!
Heather

3 Responses to “Well, I’m finally doing it!!! & my rambling LOL”

  1. Kelvin Janessa Says:

    Hi Heather,
    Congrats on your 5 days.
    Sounds like you’ve got a lot of stress in your life with or without
    classes. All of that stress comes with specific body cues. Have you
    identified them? Have you worked on the timer exercise? Have you
    written out any timer notes??
    As for exercise and yoga, they’re excellent for reducing stress but
    only marginally effective for reducing urges. And it’s urges that are
    the real problem… where do they come from? what are their
    components? how are you ‘programmed’ to respond to them?
    There’s a time factor involved in smoking and urges that too many
    quitters don’t understand. That’s that inhaled nicotine creates
    ‘relief’ within 8-12 seconds. You get an urge, you light up, and the
    urge is gone within seconds. However, from the time you get an urge
    to the time you start to do your yoga routines, how much time passes?

    I’m guessing that at the very best it’s several minutes if not longer
    before you’re into your yoga. The point I’m trying to make is that
    any response that will be really effective for dealing with urges
    must produce an effect within a similar time frame as that of a
    cigarette, seconds. Ask anyone who has done the timer exercise and
    started deep breathing and stretching and they’ll tell you that it
    works as fast and as well as a cigarette.
    By all means stay with the yoga and strength training and any other
    exercise or diversions that interest you. It’s just that if you
    expect or hope that they will be effective quit tools, I’m concerned
    you may be disappointed. Quitting may initially be about hanging on
    and getting past withdrawal. But staying quit is about changing
    established responses. If the tools you’re using aren’t accurate, the
    changes won’t happen. Look to your own past experience and I think
    you’ll agree.
    Soooo… what about a timer and some notes?
    Steve

  2. Cleo Birdie Says:

    Steve,
    I do believe I have identified a few cues. One being my kids fighting, that
    sends as immediate craving attack. There is my husband which all he does is get
    angry over anything, that send immediate craving to me. The stress itself I can
    work through, breathe through, but I can see for me it’s the anger that sets me
    over. Every one of those situations can get me into a rage (partly a bipolar
    thing), and I crave. I don’t crave in boredom really. I’ve made it very hard to
    smoke in my quitting times. So much so that I only did it when I couldn’t “take
    it” in my house anymore.
    I am not good at writing anything. I just have no ambition for it whatsoever. I
    couldn’t do it for calories, or evening writing down my exercises I’ve done.
    Just have no ambition there.
    I don’t use exercising as a response to a craving. I use it as a goal that I an
    obtaining (better health and stamina) because I no longer am smoking. I haven’t
    found my instant relief, replacement for smoking yet. So far in the anger

    situations, I literally just got up and walked away. I just walked to another
    room and would/will breathe.
    Right now I am just hanging in there to get past the withdrawal. I am trying to
    find what effectively diffuses me and my anger/rages that I feel. I do see a Dr
    and there has been no medication that has worked for me. I am allergic to most
    medications, including most of the allergy meds too! LOL I had talked to my Dr
    this past month about it all and he is looking into it more of what can be done
    to help. I know many people who find just the breathing and stretching works for
    them, but mine really hits with anger and these rages. I can diffuse anger with
    breathing. I can’t diffuse the rages quite as easily. Right now because of this
    cold, I don’t have the energy and the whole coughing thing. I look forward to my
    exercising goals and being healthy. I did it before (but I did start up again),
    but I want to be done with this for good. I’m not interested in being a
    life-long smoker. It is getting harder to quit each time I start again, so I
    definitely want this to be it. I do know that when feeling withdrawal, I do ask
    myself, HOW many times am I going to put myself through this. Now that I’ve made
    it as far as I have (I know it’s not very long yet, but it’s a good start), I
    want to keep my future smoke-free forever.
    I do appreciate everything from you Steve, I really do. I don’t think I would
    have gotten even this far without your exercises and boosts.
    Heather
    There’s a time factor involved in smoking and urges that too many
    quitters don’t understand. That’s that inhaled nicotine creates
    ‘relief’ within 8-12 seconds. You get an urge, you light up, and the
    urge is gone within seconds. However, from the time you get an urge
    to the time you start to do your yoga routines, how much time passes?
    I’m guessing that at the very best it’s several minutes if not longer
    before you’re into your yoga. The point I’m trying to make is that
    any response that will be really effective for dealing with urges
    must produce an effect within a similar time frame as that of a
    cigarette, seconds. Ask anyone who has done the timer exercise and
    started deep breathing and stretching and they’ll tell you that it
    works as fast and as well as a cigarette.
    By all means stay with the yoga and strength training and any other
    exercise or diversions that interest you. It’s just that if you
    expect or hope that they will be effective quit tools, I’m concerned
    you may be disappointed. Quitting may initially be about hanging on
    and getting past withdrawal. But staying quit is about changing
    established responses. If the tools you’re using aren’t accurate, the
    changes won’t happen. Look to your own past experience and I think
    you’ll agree.
    Soooo… what about a timer and some notes?
    Steve

  3. Kelvin Janessa Says:

    Hi Heather,
    This may seem a bit confusing at first and may
    even anger you slightly. But bear with me and
    I’ll explain… those cues you mentioned, your
    kids fighting and your husband getting
    angry, are not cues. They’re situations. And
    they are pretty much interchangable and come under the heading of ’stress’.
    When your kids fight you ‘clench’. Muscles
    tighten, your breathing probably goes to rapid
    and shallow, your thinking falls into a narrow
    focus (”Oh great! Here they go again.”), and your
    mood likely shifts from where ever it was to
    something bordering on ‘negative’. All of those
    are the cues that are associated for you with a
    cigarette. Your kids fighting are just a situation.

    When your husband gets angry, again, you
    ‘clench’. Muscles tighten, your breathing
    probably goes to rapid and shallow, your thinking
    falls into a narrow focus (”Oh great! Here he
    goes again.”), and your mood likely shifts from
    where ever it was to something bordering on
    ‘negative’. Those are cues that, for you, are
    associated with ‘relief by cigarette’.
    Those associations between what your body is
    doing and a cigarette are NOT made by the ‘you’
    who is reading this. They are made by that part
    of you that is in charge of the things you’ve
    relegated to the realm of automatic behavior.
    Behavior like driving, tasks that no longer
    require your conscious attention, and smoking.
    Those behaviors are managed by your autopilot.
    You taught your autopilot to connect smoking with
    those body cues and you can retrain it fairly
    easily IF you start to recognize your cues.
    It may seem like I’m creating arbitrary
    definitions of ‘cues’ and ’situations’ and to an
    extent I am. But it’s only so that we can
    communicate accurately. I’ve attached a ‘word
    list’ at the end of this reply. They are words we
    use often when talking about quitting smoking. We
    need to share a common understanding of them in
    order to avoid confusion because I’m trying to
    point you toward an area of yourself that is
    normally and naturally below your radar… the
    subtle physical and mental cues that create your urges to smoke.
    As for you having “no ambition” for writing
    anything down, with all due respect… that’s
    just an excuse. I know it’s an excuse because I’m
    the same way. That said, I’m asking you to do
    this for one day only. If it produces the change
    that most people experience, you may be inclined
    to do it for a second day. Either way, it’ll open
    a window to that area within you that you must
    access if you want to become comfortably quit.
    I can probably help you ease into it if you’d
    like to meet me in the chat room one evening.
    Heather, the reason I’m pushing this is because
    it’s the way you’ll defuse your anger and your
    rages. It’s the way to deal immediately and
    effectively with all your stresses. How angry or
    stressed can you be if your body is relaxed? The answer is ‘not very’.
    Steve
    Here’s the ‘Common Vocabulary’:
    From the Random House Webster’s College Dictionary
    Addiction - dependence on or commitment to a
    habit, practice, or habit-forming substance to the extent that
    it’s cessation causes trauma.
    and..
    Habit - 1. an acquired pattern of behavior that
    has become almost involuntary as a result of frequent repetition.
    2. customary practice or use.
    3. a particular practice , custom, or
    usage: the habit of shaking hands.
    4. a dominant or regular character or
    tendency: a habit of criticizing everyone.
    5. addiction, esp. to narcotics
    These definitions are very similar. It’s easy to
    see how addiction and habit might be used
    interchangeably. If we’re going to talk about the
    basics of smoking, we need to agree on certain
    definitions. I’m not suggesting that mine are the
    only correct definitions, only that if within the
    context of this material we agree to certain
    distinctions and consistencies we will communicate more successfully.
    Our word list is:
    1- Nicotine Addiction
    2- Smoking Habit
    3- Situations
    4- Body Cues
    5- Rational Response
    6- Urge
    7- Craving
    1- ‘Nicotine addiction’ - a physiological
    dependence on nicotine to relieve reoccurring
    nicotine withdrawal symptoms. Immediately after a
    smoker finishes a cigarette, their nicotine level
    begins to drop. At some point the first signs of
    nicotine withdrawal will appear and become
    increasingly uncomfortable until they are dealt
    with. The most effective way for a smoker to deal
    with withdrawal is to raise their nicotine level
    by lighting up another cigarette. That is the
    basis of the need/feed nature of ‘nicotine
    addiction’. A smoker’s addiction is entirely about nicotine.
    2- the ‘Smoking habit’ - smoking for any reason
    other than a fluctuating nicotine level. Some
    examples are hunger, anger, loneliness, boredom,
    and fatigue. The important point here is that
    most quitters continue to feel urges to smoke
    long after they’ve dealt with the chemical
    addiction. Those ongoing urges to smoke occur
    because of an established connection between
    certain ‘cues’ and a specific effective response.
    For a smoker, that response is invariably a
    cigarette and usually has little or no direct connection to nicotine addiction.
    3- ‘Situations’ - internal or external events
    that we encounter in an average day. They include
    places we go, people we meet, conditions and
    states of being that we experience. A partial list of ’situations’ is:
    - a cup of coffee
    - driving
    - being tired, hungry, angry, lonely, bored, hot, cold, relaxed
    - on the phone, at the computer, taking the garbage to the curb
    - getting up in the morning, taking breaks, meeting with family
    - nicotine withdrawal because it’s been
    ‘too long’ since the last cigarette.
    4- ‘Body Cues’ - one or a set of specific
    physical sensations. Think of them as little
    flags that go up on a map of your body. The most common body cues are:
    - tension in identifiable muscles or areas
    - changes in breathing
    - abdominal and chest sensations.
    - a shift in mental clarity, usually
    toward foggy. May also result from a shift in focus related to topic or task.
    - a shift in mood or emotion usually toward increased intensity.
    Mental ‘clarity’ (the ability to concentrate or
    think) and shifts in emotion or mood are included
    as body cues because they are often
    physiologically rooted. Additionally, every mood
    or emotion can be defined in physical terms.
    Example 1: When we’re angry we generally
    experience muscle tension (in our back,
    shoulders, neck, jaw, and stomach) and our breathing becomes rapid and shallow.
    Example 2: Fatigue, whether due to insufficient
    sleep, extended time at a particular task, or
    improper eating will result in a reduced ability
    to think or concentrate. Difficulty thinking is
    often also accompanied by an increase in frustration.
    5- Rational Response - an action that’s taken
    based on a rational evaluation of current
    existing conditions and not on established beliefs or automatic assumptions.
    6- Urge - a desire for something or to do
    something. Urges result when a particular action
    is believed to be an effective response to a
    specific need. We are generally unaware of the
    association of a response to a need. That’s why
    many smokers feel that their urges to smoke come ‘out of the blue’.
    7- Craving - the same as an urge.
    To Recap
    Addiction is a physiological dependence on
    nicotine to relieve reoccurring withdrawal symptoms.
    Habit is behavior involving cigarettes and the
    ways in which they are connected to daily life.
    Situations are external and/or internal occurrences.
    Body cues are specific physical sensations.
    Mental acuity and shifts in emotion are included as body cues.
    Rational Responses are actions based on an evaluation of current conditions.
    Urges and cravings result when a response is associated with a particular need.

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