Chronic Depression
This is my first post here. I have had two long-ish quits: the first
one lasted one year, the second eight months. I went back to smoking
on both quits b/c of the belief that smoking would help manage the
chronic depression and anxiety I’ve been combatting for years.
I’ve been on more new-generation drugs than I can remember and
Lithium as well, been hospitalized for severe depression five times,
had a series of 6 electroshock treatments, tried DBT meetings (they
end up stopping b/c of lack of people usually, or those there are so
drugged out they can’t participate), and been in therapy for six
years. None of these have offered any lasting improvement. Almost
all drugs have ceased to work within a few months & we’ve tried
numerous combinations of drugs, altering the time of day they’re
taken, etc. ad nasuem.
I understand I must change my perception on smoking, but I can not
convince myself that smoking has not helped in some way to lessen the
symptoms b/c each time I returned to smoking I began to feel better.
This is the “back door” you speak of.
Is there any way to effectively convince myself, once I’m back in the
Abyss (and I land there at least once per year) that smoking does not
restore me to “sanity”? I can not shut this door.
By the way, I’ve NEVER gone off my meds so that is not a factor,
Welbutrin is not an option, and I do NOT want to use NRT. The
problem lies not in the initial quitting process which is
uncomfortable and annoying…yet doable. Cold Turkey always works
best for me. The problem lies in my yearly major bout with
depression. That’s when I flee to the “old comfort”, and it seems to
work. I can’t convince myself otherwise.
People say, “Wait till you get your depression/anxiety under control,
then quit,” but my illness is never “under control” permanently. It
may be something I have to deal w/ the rest of my life. I can not
keep waiting for that magic moment. I’m killing myself. I’m 43,
been smoking for 27 years, and have five beautiful children.
Please help.
Thanks so much,
jules
July 29th, 2007 at 5:22 pm
Hello Jules,
Hope to hear from you soon,
Welcome.
I think the reason you can’t convince yourself that smoking doesn’t a
help is because just the opposite is true. Nicotine does help - every
time. There are certainly chemical interconnections between nicotine
and depression and I think it would be dangerous to minimize their
importance or the need to deal with them as directly as possible.
That said, I believe that the day in day out smoking habit is
primarily about how you respond to such mundane constant ‘body cue’
needs as breathing, muscular condition, hunger, and fatigue
regardless of mood. Your habit is to immediately and automatically
associate a smoking response to any of those needs. We can show you
some non smoking immediate responses that are just as effective. As
you’ve observed in past quit attempts, you can successfully choose
non smoking responses as long as your state of depression isn’t too
severe. I think that if you can effectively change your automatic
responses, when you become depressed you may be less inclined to relapse.
My suggestion is, give cognitivequitting a try for a couple of days.
I requires only an investment of some time and effort and you should
see a few immediate changes. Based on those, you’ll decide whether
this is something you can work with.
I’d be glad to help you set it up and give it a 2 day (48 hr) test run
Steve
July 30th, 2007 at 7:52 am
Hi Pat :))
Steve
Thank you for posting. It always helps when long term cogquitters add
their experience to the mix.
Actually, I think that of everyone I’ve coached, you are quit the
longest. Thanks for making me look good
July 31st, 2007 at 5:37 am
Hi Jules,
Lots of us deal with depression to some extent. While it may not
include hospital visits, we do have to learn how to navigate when the
waters get rough. This cognitivequitting approach involves increasing
your awareness in a particular area, one that’s always been dealt
with automatically by your autopilot. I think that very often the
critical advantage in choosing one action over another, particularly
when we’re in rough shape, comes from being more aware, more
knowledgeable. There’s no way anyone can guarantee how or what you’ll
choose when it comes to the crunch, but if you’ve removed the blind
automatic response and replaced it with conscious choice, there’s an
excellent chance you’ll produce very different results.
Steve